Curious Empathy: Embracing the life's subtle experiences with an open mind

When we face certain intense situation which is not obviously elating or self-gratifying, we try to measure it or at least categorize it under the header of positive or negative feelings or experiences. Once such experience is put under the header of negatives, our goal is to quicken the 'U' shaped or if possible a 'V' shaped return or recovery. This approach is mostly predominant in a goal-oriented society where the result is often the prime justifier of any action or experience. Which means in such a society, the meaning of an experience is often determined by the end result or destination, based on a certain static but not necessarily narrow parameters of social/individual good. The merit of this approach, as any social status quo is, a quick and unambiguous "solution". This is where the catch is... this approach, like any goal-oriented society, defines life as an evolving problem statement that needs constantly evolving solutions. This idea is dynamic and efficient, that's the good part. But this approach is also filled with self-surety and conformity... and that's where the concern is. An idea which is dynamic in it's approach needs to be dynamic from within... which means, it needs to be dynamic and constantly questioning the very tenet that which it uses to categorize a condition as a "problem" or certain kind of problems that needs certain kinds of end results. It seems that this idea often overlooks the basis of defining the problem statements and the aspired resolved status. Thus no matter how many ways it permutes the solution to reach from point 'A' (problem) to pint 'B' (solution), the overall approach remains in a limbo of stasis. As an alternate to this age old approach to solve problem or shoulder hugging one another with solidarity and a hope of "quick rebound", my recommendation is to greet every experience with a sense of curiosity (if it's a self) and a curious-empathy if it's for somebody I'm empathetic about. The bottom-line is to be open towards intense experiences and to explore the very dimensions of these experiences to understand what them better. The nature of solutions (if it's a problem) often lies deep inside the experience and only gradually peeling off each tender layer of experience will help us understand the workings of the inner organs of that experience. This way we may come across new ideas of the next transition point (not necessarily a solution) not necessarily moving on by letting go... but may be transmuting to something else while taking in all that the experience has to offer.

One of the most important ways by which we can differentiate between human being as a species and others in the tree of life is the level and bandwidth of information humans can share with one another in a densely networked structure called society. Needless to say, the evolution of language is one of the prime movers of this lever that sets humanity apart from others it shares this planet with. One of the most powerful things that language is capable of is to give an immersive (audio-visual and beyond) structure to any abstract experience that would otherwise be a fleeting moments of "then and gone". This ability to atemporally (relatively) memorizing and reliving the experience expands humanity's ability to associate one thing with the other which is the very basis of intelligence... the ability to association and thus extrapolate. Hence, while being aware of the fact that no idea is free from being obsolete, it is relatively safe to consider that language has a power to bring intangible into tangible... from transmuting that which isn't into that which is.

Hence my point is that It is this language, that we have at our disposal for the moment, it is our best hope. While the postmodernist psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan suggests, that the very structure of human psyche is linguistic... we can assume that we can proceed with this new approach holding language as our ultimate tool to bring a new change.... a narrative shift in how we see the world in the form of problems and solutions. Of course there are problems and solutions and they are "clear and present"... all I'm offering is an urge to perceive the iceberg not just in the spectrum of visible light but also with the radar and sonar... to cover as many dimensions as possible... in search of nuances that might radically give us a new perspective.

So, next time when you're overwhelmed with a feeling of deep sadness, a sense of loss, erosion of meaning, a pain that you cannot put a finger on or any other intense feeling or experience, don't jump to the conclusion that it's an abyss, don't get desperate to rebound and return to the previous state or move on... try to articulate it, to understand it... you never know you might discover colors that were unseen to your eyes before.